Most of us had a plan, whether or not we knew it. Sometimes the first time you realize there was a plan was once you started trying to have a baby and it didn’t happen as soon as you thought it would. You assumed once you were ready your bodies would do what they were supposed to; but it doesn’t happen. Maybe there’s no pregnancy, maybe there are miscarriages. There are appointments, tests, imaging, blood draws, very serious conversations, and this was definitely not the plan.
It’s lonely in a way that’s hard to understand for people who have not been through it. Friends announce pregnancies, and people ask questions that hurt in ways they don’t realize. You watch people who started trying after you have their babies. Eventually some of them will have another one.
You get really bad advice: “You’re stressed, you need a vacation and it will happen naturally.” “Just adopt, there are babies that need good homes.” “Have you tried a paleo diet?” “If it’s meant to be, it will be. You should pray.”
For a lot of people, trouble conceiving feels like the body failing at what it’s meant to do. For men and women there are expectations, and fertility and virility are core parts of our gender identity. Being unable to make a baby can feel like a character flaw, or that we’re less womanly or less manly.
Supportive Counseling
Sam offers therapy for people navigating the long and uncertain paths of fertility, infertility, and assisted reproduction. While you are trying to conceive, going through treatment, sitting with loss, or dealing with the strain it can put on a relationship, it helps to have support from an outsider who understands. Sam knows the science, the convoluted processes and timelines, and has a real sense of what it’s like to go through.
Of course, plenty of people always knew their path would involve a donor, IVF, or a surrogate. Even though this is Plan A, it comes with its own complications and feelings that deserve careful attention and space to talk through.
Psychological Evaluations for Third-Party Reproduction
Many fertility clinics require psychological evaluations before proceeding with IVF using donor gametes or gestational surrogacy. These evaluations are meant to ensure that everyone involved has thought carefully about what they’re doing and is prepared for what comes next.
Sam conducts ASRM-compliant psychological evaluations in Montana for:
- Known and anonymous egg and sperm donors — $320
- Intended parents / recipients using donor gametes or embryos — $320
- Gestational surrogates and their partners — $750
- Intended parents using a gestational surrogate — $320
All prices include written report. These are estimates and specific costs will be discussed in an initial free consultation. Each situation is unique and not all situations fit into standardized pricing.
Training & Credentials
Sam is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine’s Mental Health Professional Group (ASRM MHPG). His training covers the psychological, ethical, and legal dimensions of assisted reproduction, including third-party reproduction, IVF counseling, and the long-term wellbeing of all parties involved.